Am I going to be a Christmas Cake?

Recently, I had an argument with my girlfriend about how we are getting older, and that after 30 it becomes hard to get married and have a family. Personally I don't really understand the whole concept of becoming a Christmas cake after the age of thirty, but still it seems to be something that is popular in Asian culture.

I know that my mother is giving me some pressure to "get a life", get a "real job", and get married. So I am sure her mother is doing the same thing, because of this we are in a strange place right now.

I know that getting married young is a good thing because it gives you more chances in life, and it allows you to be able to start your family much slower, and while you still have your youthful energy. However, I think that being able to start your family after you have a good career and enough money to support both your wife and future children is just as important.

I don't know, maybe these ideas are what is going to make me become a Christmas cake. In my life I have had many girls that I liked, but only 3 girls that I was in love with 2 of whom I was deeply in love with.

The first girl was my good friend in college. I had only known her for about a year but we sent so much time together that my feelings began to change somewhere along the line. Even though the first time I saw her the first thing that jumped into mind was her carry on suite case, the second being how cute she was. Strange the things that we notice about other people. At of my sophomore year she asked if she could room with me and rent the other room in my apartment. because I had a 2 bedroom apartment that one room was going to waste. So being the good friend that I was I allowed her to stay, so every day for 5months we saw each other day and night. For me this was a great source of excitement and ... pain, I guess would be the word. Having her as my roommate was the highest point in my life. Even though we didn't share and truly intimate moments the time we shared together was at least to me priceless. However, do to the actions of another our wondrous relationship came to a blazing end sudden end. She left my life mad and has never spoken to me again. The lose of both my best friend and the girl that I loved brought me to my knees, and sent the remaining 6 months of my life into a fog.

The Second girl was the first person to actually be my real girlfriend. I know it sounds weird, but at 23 that was a huge deal for me. We were together for a year, and about 3 or 4months and had plans for the future, so much so that I had even moved to Taiwan to be with her. However, in the end she broke up with me leaving me with only a dear john letter "I don't think we will work out, we don't match each other. Good bye". Since then none of me emails, IMs, Phone calls, or letters have been replied to or even returned to sender. Its like there is a void that sucked everything in and never let it go.

It took me nearly a year, but after her I met the 3rd girl who day by day made me forget that pain, and gave my heart a new light feeling. Even though I was still gun shy about letting someone get that close to me, she made me happier than I had been in a long time. So, one day things became official that we were together, even though there was some distance between where we lived we stayed faithful to one another. Each day growing closer and closer to each other so much so, that now 2 years later the thought of losing her has made my heart drop to the floor, and every day seems greyer than the last.

I know this seems to some like a stupid idea, but I have come to the conclusion that if things don't work out between her and I, and we separate for real. Then I will give up completely on trying to find a girlfriend, I will resign myself to living a life as a single and make each day for myself. To me it seems simple enough, I spent the majority of my life alone, and when I attempted to have a relationship with a girl has lead to my life being turned upside down by the lose of not only my the girl who captured my heart but by the lose of my best friend as well.

I know the concept of being married before 30 is something ridiculous but it seems to hold some power in my family, as everyone who has been married has done so before their 30th birthday, and those who have not are still single all the way into their late 40s, 50s, and 60s. With the oldest being 3 uncles who lived their entire 80 and 90 year lives with out getting married.

Is being a Christmas cake really that bad? ... I guess only time will tell.